Leaching off of me, mother fucker got me tripping Thinking that I was blinded by needing him For a time, he was right! Brain clears out, after enough time…
Forcing me to betray my principles Turning them from strong to sinkable Knowing I never would, not only ‘coz it’s taboo You messed me well enough to turn me into you
I am making peace with the wrongs that I did The ones that bother just me The truly wicked don’t care… for their wickedness At least I can beg the Earth… for forgiveness
Your allegiance is to no one, not Goddess, not Satan Not a deity in sight, much less a person Falling from lap to lap, based on your necessities Drinking from every tap FOREVER FUCKING THIRSTY
Nature is not a static portion of matter nor is it defined by beings that are living now, be it humans, deer, or trees. They are manifestations of nature itself in one of its stages of existence.
One experiences the act of dying from the moment one is alive. Death is not an event or a single act of finality to one’s experience; it’s dependent and co-exists with existence, to live is to die. You are only able to disintegrate and be transformed on the nuclear level as long as you are existing. In fact, death only happens to the living; in fact, all that is alive is also designed to die.
I can remember times when it used to be warmer Lying inside the body of my mother I can remember light coming through her skin And the first time I saw her eyes as she wrapped me in
I’m a child with an animal soul I don’t belong here I don’t belong anywhere I’m a child with an animal soul I don’t belong here I don’t belong anywhere
As I am running around looking for every answer Mm, moving across my mind like a beautiful dancer Oh, I am here to tear what makes me hollow In a world of hate, we are forced to swallow
Mm, I’m a child with an animal soul I don’t belong here I don’t belong anywhere I’m a child with an animal soul I don’t belong here I don’t belong anywhere
Funny how we’re free to walk around Still our feet are forced to walk the ground Even when we die we’re deeper down, down, down Even when we die we’re deeper down, deeper down Hmm, hmm
From afar, I could smell his pheromones Undisturbed by the scent of any cologne I led him to my cave, and we sat in front of each other I already knew that, at least for the night, I wanted him as my lover
As we converse, I learn more about the man We often fell into the trap of each other’s gaze Especially as we got physically close Appreciating vices, but invested in that shared maze
Ancestral essence running down my neck and breasts Having become a mesmerising expert A question was brought up in the air I answered with the words, but did not confess
Part of me wanted to test his perception abilities The entirety of me was screaming for us to kiss “Kiss me!” — my brain whispered as I stared at his lips His legs were open wide enough for me to fit in between
Bodies touching one another, our hands wandered All I craved for at that moment was to taste his spit Our tongues explored each other’s necks and ears I entered that moment without wondering
Wondering about what our touches were leading us to Our lips finally meet, our mouths perfectly fit His deep kisses were pleasant, for I kiss that way too It did not take long for my hands to become sneaky
Under his shirt, metallic surprises Eventually, I learnt they were the same colour as mine After playing with his nipples, I dropped my hands on his lap We were now both focused on each other’s private parts
It had been a long time since I was touched intimately The darkness gave us some privacy, but ultimately… He asked for an invitation to my cave And I… I instantly caved!
“It is best to die with your head held high than to live in humiliation.” A brother told me so, when I feared for the life of mine and the lives of my loved ones Words from a boy who lives for martyrdom Younger than I, yet he speaks of truth with wisdom
His words quickly integrated into my mind The right combination of words one could find Self-induced insomnia, paranoia, and pseudo-hallucinations started to subside Hyper-ability to hear was no longer trapping me in fear and in time
I feel toward this boy a deep admiration, it comes with respect beyond comprehension I am a student of his; he tells me he is a student of mine We share knowledge, opinions; we speak of things that I cannot publicly mention We are not alike, but we share the same ending
His eyes could hypnotise Making me feel like a child Under control, I was It did not take much time Until I was mesmerised
I became physically small Far too innocent, far too fragile I had no inclination to smile At that moment, I was his And for an hour, he felt mine
I melted as I stared into his eyes I regressed; I was not my age He paid attention to all of the signs A witch in the hands of a mage The next day, he called me his wife
I spoke of how I felt so young He said he knew a girl when he saw one The feeling should not have gone Several times, I asked for more No one had successfully put me under before
Through the aether, I was found by someone unique, and I answered the call. The chemistry was instant and natural. The connection is intense, raw, and sudden. The enchantment has arrived extremely early, and I… I feel free. We are vibrating at the same frequency; our minds are aligned, our desires match; all that is left is for matter to travel so we can connect beyond the spirit world, for we urge for material union. The underworld told us we are capable and are meant to create entities, things, types of life that most could only dream of, or more likely, not accept the challenge from fear of creating something bigger than themselves. We are proud to be the ones to inseminate the Earth and fertilise it monthly to strengthen the child in its own nature.
By the soaking wet soil I shall lie, nude and covered in sacred blood and saliva, the other shall cover my skin with his, as we worship Mother Nature and my Dark Goddess, I will receive his fallus into my bleeding cave, slippery penetration, otherworldly sensation. The savage instinct arrives as we practice magic through intercourse, our teeth are unstoppable and seek to draw blood from each other’s necks, his lips cover me with bruises from all the forceful suction as he holds my wrists behind my head, full control over my vessel. Nails, as sharp as possible, cutting through the skin, I ask for my hands to be freed, he obliges, and without removing his member from my vagina, he pushes his finger inside it just so he could take it off and show me the sticky mixture of fluids from blood, feminine nectar, and pre-ejaculate juice, he presses his index agaisnt my lips, and tells me to open my mouth as he gazes into my eyes, I obey and instinctively suck on his finger trying to cover the insides of my mouth with our magical liquids.
I moan in a language he is not fluent in, but understands just enough to move his body faster and rougher against mine, making it so my back is scratched by the friction against the Earth. I lick my lips just before he inserts his tongue into them and kisses me deeply and wildly. I manage to get close to his ear and tell him in his mother tongue how much I yearn for his seed to be mixed with mine. I ask him to flood my insides, and like an animal, I beg him to inseminate me as I call for the spirit of the Dark Goddess and ask her to control the destiny of our next action. He enters me deeply and quickly, my legs are soaked with blood, and my nectar that is flowing non-stop, as he goes in even deeper, he grabs me by my jaw and forces me to keep eye contact with him, he growls and lets me know I am his as he fills me up with his creamy, warm seed. I moan and scream out of ecstasy, feeling just right and perfect.
Fertilise the Earth, fluids of masculine seeds followed by monthly female blood to feed the child, the life that will exist for as long as we are alive.
A small piece of writing done on November 14th of 2020, my first experience with Ayahuasca
A drawing representing tree witches by the fire under a full moon, done whilst under the influence of Ayahuasca.
Life is present whether you wish to be there for it or not, it is only a matter of noticing,
Expect nothing and allow yourself to observe. Only capture what shall add what it is to the desire of the vessel. It can be built up however way you wish.
Be careful for the illusion of control ends here, it never truly existed. It is not gone, it just has never been there.
Empty the vessel. Build it up. The external and the internal are one in the same.
Nothing ever stops on being for all that there ever was is here.
The energy from the start is still here through vibrations.
Nadÿa Cuscan 